Thursday, December 9, 2010

Baby jesus doesn't condone poorly fitted suits.

We are all going to hell. Being extremely guilty of what other people perceive wrong, many think I should excuse myself from humanity with dignity and grace. If  heaven is filled with people who judge, it would be better to roast in warmth and comfort with those who don't care.
Vanity is a very important emotion, without it there would be no culture. Our narcisism would leave us a gaggle of bland homos. I like people who preen themselves and enjoy being presentable in public. A condemnation delivered from a neatly groomed, well dressed person is much more bearable. I dont take people who wear synthetics or fleece seriously, but coupled with their curses and damnation they are much more hateful. The inverse also applies, punks, gothes, and emo donkeydicks would be taken more seriously if they were well dressed (fishnet makes my mascara run too). Sin or no sin no one takes people who make mistakes of vanity to heart. Get a mirror before you open your mouth. It is better to be well dressed when you fall from whatever, than to spend a lifetime in sweatpants.
I love mirrors. I feel more comfortable when a room has a mirror in it. There are endless joys to be had in your own image. When I didnt have a full mirrior I would take pictures of myself to see what every one else was.
In college I had a mirrior hanging over my bed. I would lay in bed and examine every part of my body. It was then that I learned to lay in the right way so unflattering bits would be covered. I always try to see myself through my lovers eyes by using the mirror.
Vanity is an extreme external awareness that has led to every beautiful thing that humanity have ever done. God is Vanity.
Thats it, I am going to hell..
We meet our creator with nude consciences. They say we get the body\face we deserve. It is better to bow before your creator in the most flattering way possible. If our body is the vessal of our soul it is better to be beautifull in your vase. I wouldnt buy an ugly vase. I once found an ugly vase in the trash and used it as an umbrella holder by the back door. That is hell, to be a backdoor umbrella holder.
Some people are like vases from Patrick Nagal posters, full of dry sticks and pussy willows. Some people are like Liter water bottles with their tops cut off, full of flowers robbed from an old ladies garden. I would like to be an exercise ikebana.
Cleanliness is next to godliness. I like to be clean. I judge dirty people or people who try to be clean but are not, that is almost worst. A persons level of cleanliness can be a good measure of their vanity, and how much you have to respect it. Cleanliness has a double impact on the attractivness of a person. Dirty people are  rarely attractive and more prone to give yeast infections. Take showers regularly and you will not be unattractive.
I dont like to be considered a piece of meat, I like to go to the gym because you dont have to say much.

I love a clean polished mirror. I love disco balls, venitian mirriors, hall mirriors, roccoco mirriors and mirriored headboards. Subway windows make the worste mirrors, even a twelve year old looks ancient in them. I also hate funhouse mirrors. The best mirrors are the slimming type. If stores installed them they would sell oodles of stuff. Everyone wants to look slimmer, even anorexics.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

sin; an auto biography, primo parte

I used the seven deady sins as a format for a biography. I found it helpfull, insightfull, and very interesting. One of the words that has been used to describe my personality has been ass, I can be a bit of one, and sometimes I like a bite of one. I wasnt going to share this with a large audience but due to requests for my gleenings I have chosen to, hopefully it will help people with their own self perceptions and how they view others. I ask you not to judge me, but if you do I will add this disclaimer, If heaven is filled with angry judgemental people who think doing good is concerning themselves with the shortcomings of others, I would rather be in hell. I have also gravitated twords warmer climates so it seems like a natural progression.

What do I want out of life??? I make a lot of lists in my time but this one appear most often. It seems so banal. I write the same thing over and over again. I guess most of all I want a life as a buisness artist. I dont think that I am nessisarly as creative as others, surely not as talented, but i have always gravitated twords the application of graphics and communication through imagry as a career choice. It seems so much easier, so much more lucrative. So what do I do to achieve that? Do I continue to go the way I am going? Is there another choice? Why have I gone to bed feeling bad, worried? These are my choices too. So I need to get over myself, and realize I lead a pretty darned blessed life!! I have always known I was destined to do great things; I have been given a million blessings!!!
I guess that is what I want out of life, a million more blessings!!! They say make a book of everything you want to do in your life. This has always confused me because I am continuously doing everything I want to do in my life. I would like to do more work for more money,  I like money and all the things it lets me do. They say you dont need much money to have a good time, but thats a lie. We live in a world of edifice, but thats a lie too, they both cancel each other out. So go fuck yourself.
I was always made to have a driver. I prefer it. I get confused when it comes to the idea of a car, it seems eratic. When I drive it feels like a body trapped within another body. I feel like an extremely obeses person. It makes me want to go to the gym.
As I become a well known artist the concern of image, and the things that are attached to it have become more prevelent. When I write my biography for an artist release should I be an artist from arkansas, a dallasite (who has ever heard of Denton), or maybe an international artist because I live and work in europe and have a lot of work in collections on three continents? If i am going yocol, it is arkansas all the way. In europe and south america I am always an international artist.
 a little joke based on real life.
Q. are you from delaware?
A. yes I am.
Q. are you a member of the DuPonte family?
A. no I am not.
Q. Then why are you beeing such a stuck up bitch?
Q. Are you from arkansas?
A. Yes I am.
Q. are you a member of the Walton family?
Every thing has already been decided.
an exercise in greed.
Take everything I have, give it away or sell it. Replace it all with better stuff.
Continue to buy more properties to put all my stuff in, rinse and repeat.
If everything goes tits up I will move to Roma and become a whore, or a pimp, depending on my age. Sex always sells, charge for everything...
That is the reality of our lives, charge and charge, money always moving and changing hands.
an exercise in capitalism.
A million dollars does not seem like a lot of money to me. I could easily spend it in ten years, I think i would then spend two million in five, Three million in two and one half, four million in one and one half, ten million in one.
It would be so much fun to spend ten million dollars in one year. Maybe I would be saintly. Maybe I would buy myself a title and a country home to go with it. Maybe I would be saintly with a title, or a tiltled saint. Can a greedy person be saintly? It depends on the perspective, is a person who buys products made in a third world country a saint because they are feeding poor people? I can at least try.

LUST: a love story (italian style)
I am human and I make choices. I am attracted to men, not because I am unattracted to women, but because the idea of hot man on man action really turns me on so much more. My loins are in a constant state of arousal, my animal instinct makes want to be connected to another persons midsection as much as possible, time permitting. Do not judge me, do not call me a putana, as Oscar Wilde said "The only way to end temptation is yeilding to it.
Part 1, blowin down the tracks
I board the train in bolognia, it is eleven at night and all the other cars are empty. Before the train departs a man also boards in my car. He is wearing a pair of euro-trashy distressed jeans, a leather jacket and a cap. Sitting across from me he begins to touch himself. The buldge in his pants becomes more and more pronounced. I am getting really turned on, wine em, dine em, 69em keeps repeating in my head. Following him between the train cars we give each other head. The train stops in prato he disboards and I continue on my way home.
In Italy smut is everywhere. The men here are so horney because they are so repressed but there are tits and ass everywhere. There is nothing like turning on a t.v. and seeing an eastern european phone sex operator gyrating in a thong rubbing her box with a couple of telephones. My favorite was paris wilton, she had a fake tiger lilly she would rub inside and outside of her thong. My privates could never be that close to synthetics. Comme ti chiami?
One day in rome I was followed by a man for an hour or so. He was playing with himself and wanted me to join the ballgame. I refused, later I saw him with a hustler, lesson learned, charge for everything..If you dont someone else will. Il Duce had holes in his pockets and would play with his prince albert in meetings.
I like to run, it allows me to expell a lot of energy.
The great escape (a formula for relaxation)
1. smoke a joint.
2. run for a couple of hours.
3. get a blow job.
Everybodys life started with an orgasm.
People are always having sex.
Part 2, nice basket.
Down stairs from my house there is a coffee bar where a really sexy man works. One day returning from a lunch and a little drunk, I stopped in to have a coffee. The machine was broken so I had a beer instead. Then I had two, Drunk, my inhibitions where about to be as low as my pants hitting the floor. Closing the door and drawing the grate, we fucked behind the counter, on the counter, on the floor, we had another beer, and did it all over again. I didnt have to pay for the beer, win-win, total cost, three beers. Charge for everything like a good american.
sometimes to move up you gotta go down.
I have always related greed, lust, and vanity. Am I wrong to think that sex is great, looking good means we should work hard to look better, and having lots and lots of money can make you a better person?
What I want.
more lovers who know how to fill me up, not the void, but my lips, the ass, the mouth, the head, my cock, their cock, the softness of the belly skin on your forehead as you please them with your mouth. The way their hair feels as you grab their head and direct it to all the parts for licking, sucking, biting and poking.

Part 3, eye for an eye,
or the one eyed trouser snake
When it was time to cheat on my ex, I found a very sexy architect who lived areound the corner from me. A big Sicilian man with a sweet face and a third leg. I would go to his house before or after work and we would make love on his rug. One day we where taking coffee, he was wearing boxer shorts and a robe. His cock peaking out, I asked if he wanted to stir my coffee with it. He stuck it in my mouth.
When you leave a boyfriend or girlfriend it seems logical to leave all the lovers you where sleeping with too. no?
I always have what I want, but what I want is always changing.
-a new house
-more amazing work
-lots and lots of good lovins
-a larger bank account where I have spending to little
-good food
-my gym body
-some land (more land)
-really really pretty clothes, really really pretty.
-a t.v. show

Well it is late and time to go to bed, I will leave you with those two for now. I dont know when I will get around to publishing what I wrote about the other five. But soon, I have to see how lazy I am..

Monday, September 13, 2010


Trend forcasting for leg wear
     It is raining out and I have lost my mojo. Its like when I was learning how to wash clothes a few years ago. So I have resorted to blogging, the last resource of those who have nothing better to do, utter douche baggery. I am a failed artist, designer and poet. Everyone has said I am blessed with many gifts but I don't know their outlets. I am neither brilliant at one nor the other, so what do I do. The problem has always been that I don't care...
We all judge books by their covers
     I am amazed at what people wear. Their clothing choices you would think spoke volumes, but many have resorted to bland dressing. I am not talking about colors, I am speaking the quality of our clothes. So many people just get it so wrong, sarong, thong...
    I am also fascinated by the idea of trend forecasting. People who fill our lives with shots of models, vacuous and dull, this is the wave of the future but it is already the past.
Shit brown is the new black...
writing exercise 
     Our want to follow trends is historical, but history is getting shorter and shorter. We are history, wear history...Doing some rounds this afternoon I ran across some pieces from a designer I have worked with. they resembled deflated Victorian couches, skins hanging lifeless, only the cupping from the sewn in falsies giving them form. Very nude pantyhose, very rusty panties...I am omitting him from my C.V. When a trend forecaster applies the trends it is usually unnatural and out of proportion, an exaggeration of what once brought people to that look.
the red carpet matches the curtains
    The beauty of history is it can be changed. I have burned many bad photos of myself. Wiped clean are the rat tail and Mao hat from elementary school. One of many nice things about a collared shirt and sweater is that it always looks good in a photograph. A set vernacular. I would have saved a lot of editing time, had I learned that at a younger age. I don't understand how people tolerate ugly photos. They should burn them and create an image of their own making for posterity.
That memory shouldn't include permanent press techno fabrics and oversized embroidery.
    We are moving towards a genderless gender inasmuch that we can see ourselves more as others see us. One of the greatest gifts of reality t.v.. A fallacy of perception, the creation of everyone else but yourself. The great democracy, equalizer, and innocent verdict.
men in cowboy boots=men in high heels

all tomorrows parties