Tuesday, November 9, 2010

sin; an auto biography, primo parte

I used the seven deady sins as a format for a biography. I found it helpfull, insightfull, and very interesting. One of the words that has been used to describe my personality has been ass, I can be a bit of one, and sometimes I like a bite of one. I wasnt going to share this with a large audience but due to requests for my gleenings I have chosen to, hopefully it will help people with their own self perceptions and how they view others. I ask you not to judge me, but if you do I will add this disclaimer, If heaven is filled with angry judgemental people who think doing good is concerning themselves with the shortcomings of others, I would rather be in hell. I have also gravitated twords warmer climates so it seems like a natural progression.

What do I want out of life??? I make a lot of lists in my time but this one appear most often. It seems so banal. I write the same thing over and over again. I guess most of all I want a life as a buisness artist. I dont think that I am nessisarly as creative as others, surely not as talented, but i have always gravitated twords the application of graphics and communication through imagry as a career choice. It seems so much easier, so much more lucrative. So what do I do to achieve that? Do I continue to go the way I am going? Is there another choice? Why have I gone to bed feeling bad, worried? These are my choices too. So I need to get over myself, and realize I lead a pretty darned blessed life!! I have always known I was destined to do great things; I have been given a million blessings!!!
I guess that is what I want out of life, a million more blessings!!! They say make a book of everything you want to do in your life. This has always confused me because I am continuously doing everything I want to do in my life. I would like to do more work for more money,  I like money and all the things it lets me do. They say you dont need much money to have a good time, but thats a lie. We live in a world of edifice, but thats a lie too, they both cancel each other out. So go fuck yourself.
I was always made to have a driver. I prefer it. I get confused when it comes to the idea of a car, it seems eratic. When I drive it feels like a body trapped within another body. I feel like an extremely obeses person. It makes me want to go to the gym.
As I become a well known artist the concern of image, and the things that are attached to it have become more prevelent. When I write my biography for an artist release should I be an artist from arkansas, a dallasite (who has ever heard of Denton), or maybe an international artist because I live and work in europe and have a lot of work in collections on three continents? If i am going yocol, it is arkansas all the way. In europe and south america I am always an international artist.
 a little joke based on real life.
Q. are you from delaware?
A. yes I am.
Q. are you a member of the DuPonte family?
A. no I am not.
Q. Then why are you beeing such a stuck up bitch?
Q. Are you from arkansas?
A. Yes I am.
Q. are you a member of the Walton family?
Every thing has already been decided.
an exercise in greed.
Take everything I have, give it away or sell it. Replace it all with better stuff.
Continue to buy more properties to put all my stuff in, rinse and repeat.
If everything goes tits up I will move to Roma and become a whore, or a pimp, depending on my age. Sex always sells, charge for everything...
That is the reality of our lives, charge and charge, money always moving and changing hands.
an exercise in capitalism.
A million dollars does not seem like a lot of money to me. I could easily spend it in ten years, I think i would then spend two million in five, Three million in two and one half, four million in one and one half, ten million in one.
It would be so much fun to spend ten million dollars in one year. Maybe I would be saintly. Maybe I would buy myself a title and a country home to go with it. Maybe I would be saintly with a title, or a tiltled saint. Can a greedy person be saintly? It depends on the perspective, is a person who buys products made in a third world country a saint because they are feeding poor people? I can at least try.

LUST: a love story (italian style)
I am human and I make choices. I am attracted to men, not because I am unattracted to women, but because the idea of hot man on man action really turns me on so much more. My loins are in a constant state of arousal, my animal instinct makes want to be connected to another persons midsection as much as possible, time permitting. Do not judge me, do not call me a putana, as Oscar Wilde said "The only way to end temptation is yeilding to it.
Part 1, blowin down the tracks
I board the train in bolognia, it is eleven at night and all the other cars are empty. Before the train departs a man also boards in my car. He is wearing a pair of euro-trashy distressed jeans, a leather jacket and a cap. Sitting across from me he begins to touch himself. The buldge in his pants becomes more and more pronounced. I am getting really turned on, wine em, dine em, 69em keeps repeating in my head. Following him between the train cars we give each other head. The train stops in prato he disboards and I continue on my way home.
In Italy smut is everywhere. The men here are so horney because they are so repressed but there are tits and ass everywhere. There is nothing like turning on a t.v. and seeing an eastern european phone sex operator gyrating in a thong rubbing her box with a couple of telephones. My favorite was paris wilton, she had a fake tiger lilly she would rub inside and outside of her thong. My privates could never be that close to synthetics. Comme ti chiami?
One day in rome I was followed by a man for an hour or so. He was playing with himself and wanted me to join the ballgame. I refused, later I saw him with a hustler, lesson learned, charge for everything..If you dont someone else will. Il Duce had holes in his pockets and would play with his prince albert in meetings.
I like to run, it allows me to expell a lot of energy.
The great escape (a formula for relaxation)
1. smoke a joint.
2. run for a couple of hours.
3. get a blow job.
Everybodys life started with an orgasm.
People are always having sex.
Part 2, nice basket.
Down stairs from my house there is a coffee bar where a really sexy man works. One day returning from a lunch and a little drunk, I stopped in to have a coffee. The machine was broken so I had a beer instead. Then I had two, Drunk, my inhibitions where about to be as low as my pants hitting the floor. Closing the door and drawing the grate, we fucked behind the counter, on the counter, on the floor, we had another beer, and did it all over again. I didnt have to pay for the beer, win-win, total cost, three beers. Charge for everything like a good american.
sometimes to move up you gotta go down.
I have always related greed, lust, and vanity. Am I wrong to think that sex is great, looking good means we should work hard to look better, and having lots and lots of money can make you a better person?
What I want.
more lovers who know how to fill me up, not the void, but my lips, the ass, the mouth, the head, my cock, their cock, the softness of the belly skin on your forehead as you please them with your mouth. The way their hair feels as you grab their head and direct it to all the parts for licking, sucking, biting and poking.

Part 3, eye for an eye,
or the one eyed trouser snake
When it was time to cheat on my ex, I found a very sexy architect who lived areound the corner from me. A big Sicilian man with a sweet face and a third leg. I would go to his house before or after work and we would make love on his rug. One day we where taking coffee, he was wearing boxer shorts and a robe. His cock peaking out, I asked if he wanted to stir my coffee with it. He stuck it in my mouth.
When you leave a boyfriend or girlfriend it seems logical to leave all the lovers you where sleeping with too. no?
I always have what I want, but what I want is always changing.
-a new house
-more amazing work
-lots and lots of good lovins
-a larger bank account where I have spending to little
-good food
-my gym body
-some land (more land)
-really really pretty clothes, really really pretty.
-a t.v. show

Well it is late and time to go to bed, I will leave you with those two for now. I dont know when I will get around to publishing what I wrote about the other five. But soon, I have to see how lazy I am..


  1. i love your chapter on lust - so honest, raunchy and utterly charming, as you often are. you should write more stories like that. great writing. <3